So over the past few months I've been cataloguing the subject lines of SPAM mail that I receive on a daily basis. For some reason I get an awful lot of "male enhancement" e-mails. Perhaps these spam bots know something I don't, but you would think by their marketing strategy that I was rolling with what amounts to a mouse dick. These are all 100% real e-mails that I have received in my junk folder. I can't take any of the creative credit on these. Here's some of the greatest hits:
+Dip your lance in her wet grotto.
+Having a big beast in your pants will make you a beast in bed.
+Aid to your nether rod.
+Upgrade your love fest by enlarging your penis.
+Exhaust her intensely.
+Women never get bored with a well-endowed man.
+Make the sweet love all night.
+Having a big penis is the most important of all male qualities.
+Enlarge your device and women will jump in your bed.
+The longer your love instrument is, the longer the pleasure lasts.
+Go from flaccid to FAT!
+Put her to bed with your dong.
+Stand tall and salute with your confidence.
This reminds me of the now somewhat defunct website, www.spamusement.com . If you've never seen it, I highly recommend you check it out! There is some super duper hilarious stuff on there. This is my personal fave: http://spamusement.com/index.php/comics/view/105
ReplyDeleteToday I received: "Shut her tiny hole."
ReplyDeleteHahahahhahhahhahhaha!
ReplyDeleteToday I got:
ReplyDeleteEmpower your man-root.
A meat cigar instead of a cigarette.
And quite possibly the grossest thing I've ever read:
Load more into her slit.
Hahahahaha!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThose are classics!
Today I got:
ReplyDeleteWomen don't care about money, as long as your trunk is hard.
Add some power to your man hammer
ReplyDeleteToday I received "Awaken your wang!" Complete with exclamation point.
ReplyDelete"Give her gut locker more!" HOLY SHIT I CANNOT MAKE THIS STUFF UP.
ReplyDelete