I especially like how they named the cute little green guy, Frank. I know that because I am clairvoyant.
What I'd really like to talk about, is a conspiracy to either: a) make us all live longer and become happy consumers b) stain our clothing red or c) all of the above.
The pomegranate. It's a fruit bearing orb that grows on shrubs, native to Iran, Greece and areas in and around the Mediterranean. It has a rich history, widely used in religious ceremonies for centuries. Its shape inspired the design of the original grenades and it was spoke of in The Bible™—to give you an idea of how old this complex little fellow is.
Before about 2002, the only time I had heard of the pomegranate was from my mother, who grew up in Arizona (these things will grow anywhere). Her brothers and the other neighborhood roustabouts would throw them at each other. My uncles told me that if you first stepped on them and cracked into the middle, when they'd hit your target, not only would it hurt, it would explode a blood red center. And you'd have to go home to your mother, with welts on your back and a stain on your shirt.
No one would eat them, except stray dogs.
Fast forward to 2007, everyone knows the pomegranate, save for the guy who asked me what the avacados were that I was buying the other day. So wha happened!? A shrub in southern California was everywhere and could survive without much hassle and it had some good areas for marketing. Its unique anatomy, its sweet—yet tart seeds, its history and its antioxidant properties (which is another subject—when did we get all concerned with antioxidants, and why? Around 2002, perhaps?!)
The pomegranate doesn't provide much nutrition for you, some viatmin C, some B vitamins, a bit of potassium AND the elusive antioxidant polyphenols that we have just started to crave so much.
Okay, fine. So here it is. They had an abundance of pomegranates and nothing to do with them. They told us we need antioxidants and we believed them. Now this wonderful little bugger has infultrated homes across America, in various forms, stained our clothing and perhaps, through its antioxidant properties, propelled the economy by making us live longer. That is unless, you're chain smoking and eating McDonald's while consuming it.
So, the pomegranate has won and I will continue to buy it and bring it up in casual conversation. Good for you old-timer.
4 comments:
My favorite one is the boozed up Grover. There is something really creepy about bringing dolls and stuffed animals to life. I don't know if it's the residual effects of years of drug use or what, but I always get the shakes when I see one of these little dudes scurrying behind a bookshelf out of the corner of my eye. For some reason they're always giggling too. Bastards.
I'm disappointed in you all.
Pomegranate is yet another highly successful buzz word in America's great health awakening. It takes its place alongside:
-Yoga
-Pilates
-Organic foods
-Sudoku
-Soy beans
-Sushi
-Nintendo Wii
-Olive Oil
-Tofu
-Veganism
-Audrey Hepburn
-The proliferation of chicken
-Wheat Grass
-Supplementing alcohal with marijuana
-Kurt Vonnegut
-Soy Milk
-Dreadlocks on white people
-The acceptance of advertising as high culture
-The Phoniex Suns
-The rebirth of Vinyl
-Falafel King
These are just a few. But more interestingly: Is this just another phad, or phase of "liberal" culture (a counter to Brittney Spears' America and Orwellian absurdity of modern American politics), the consequences of globalism, both, or something entirley different?
I think all of those things' popularity besides the Phoenix Suns, are due to America's boredom and a counter to Brittney's America.
They all seem sort of rebellious too.
All of those things go really well together (besides veganism and dreadlocks on white people, is there anything worse) too.
Just don't get olive oil on your vinyl.
Post a Comment