Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Where to eat when you're not Christian.

I celebrate Christmas, although I'm not exactly sure why. Neither of my parents are practicing Christians, and my Dad is a card carrying Atheist. I think it's more tradition than anything. That said, I was holed up in my house on Christmas day with an empty fridge looming in the kitchen. The night before I had consumed my fair share of delectables (Oh just some Veal Supreza, Crab Cannelloni, antipasto etc.) at my Mother's Christmas Eve gathering, and if you're like me, you can't just put the brakes on the eating frenzy cold turkey. So as I walked in and out of the house shoveling snow every 2 hours, I realized that I hadn't eaten anything all day. It was nearly 1 in the afternoon.

Martinez and I starting chatting. I know him as a man that has all the tools of the interwebz bookmarked and memorized if I ever have any question that google can't solve. The question today was, what is open on Christmas day? In a matter of seconds Martinez had inundated me with a handful of restaurants that were skirting the holiday in favor of serving the people. My couch-riddled bones weren't much interested in driving to Uptown, so I chose an old stand-by. The Holy Land Deli on Central ave in Northeast Minneapolis. Thank Allah! Holy Land was indeed open, and serving their world famous buffet.

Years ago, Holy Land didn't weigh your take home buffet portions. I quickly realized this loophole, and would fill multiple containers full of Halal goodness. Portions that would inevitably last the Brew a week if rationed correctly. They caught on to my scheme relatively quickly, and started weighing each container. After one trip through the buffet line I weighed out at 2.2 lbs. Approximately 12 dollars worth of food. I also purchased some pita, hummus, and a take home container of tabouli.

Within 4 hours of arriving home, I had eaten the 2lbs of Holy Land goodness, and dipped into the tabouli. My urine smells like garlic today.

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