Thursday, April 23, 2009

Beefs Part I

FACEBOOK VS. BEER
Being that I am a Superbeast, I love my beer. In my leisure time I am often at the local watering hole drowning my sorrows and my joy in a few cold, American made Pilsners. I’m not all that particular when it comes to my surroundings. Usually, all I need is a pool table that’s not covered in frat boy spittle, a jukebox with “Over the Hills and Far Away” on it, and maybe a large stuffed swordfish to gaze at.

Recently, it seems that whenever I have a yen for a brew, I am constantly surrounded by women taking pictures of themselves. They pose in the same generic Hannah Montana poses, all giddy and pouty as they press their heads together like candy coated Siamese twins. It never fails. I could be in a truck-stop in Kalamazoo Michigan drinking Hamms out of a can, and three 24 year olds will be in a corner pressing their boobs together for a series of I-Pod Touch photomontages. I’m all for boobs and photomontages, but to a beer drinker, a bar or a truck-stop is sacred ground. Let’s not combine our overenthusiastic narcissism and our ability to enjoy cheap libations - That my friends, is a little too French for this proud American.

It is strange that I didn’t really notice what a cornball, voyeuristic society we’ve become, until it started to infringe on my drinking.

5 comments:

americanmidwestsamurai said...

Ooo-wee...that Father Frank know how to put some hallelujah in a sermon!

Keep them truth bells a-ringin', superbeasts.

R. Falch said...

Your city has nothing on Beijing. At every single moment a woman is taking a picture of herself. Somewhere. You may not see her, but she's there. And she's pursing up her lips and she's going to post it on Facebook with the hundreds of others of her in the exact same pose. And she won't stop.

Also, dudes do it here too. Which is hilarious. If I didn't buy my phone from the Russian black market and its camera took pictures instead of vibrating and shocking me, I too would probably be doing this. Out of societal pressures of wanting to fit it.

Over and out.

Featherhammer said...

Overenthusiastic narcissism, well said, my friend, well said.

Anonymous said...

This woman first invented the lip-purse pose. Then bought a Long Island nightclub to perfect it in:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJxxvsXzPT4

Tracy Warner said...

My 15-year-old sister is disgustingly obsessed with taking pictures of herself with her friends. It's impossible to pry her away from myspace. I hate it.

Well said.