Monday, July 27, 2009

Extend your Member.


So over the past few months I've been cataloguing the subject lines of SPAM mail that I receive on a daily basis. For some reason I get an awful lot of "male enhancement" e-mails. Perhaps these spam bots know something I don't, but you would think by their marketing strategy that I was rolling with what amounts to a mouse dick. These are all 100% real e-mails that I have received in my junk folder. I can't take any of the creative credit on these. Here's some of the greatest hits:

+Dip your lance in her wet grotto.

+Having a big beast in your pants will make you a beast in bed.

+Aid to your nether rod.

+Upgrade your love fest by enlarging your penis.

+Exhaust her intensely.

+Women never get bored with a well-endowed man.

+Make the sweet love all night.

+Having a big penis is the most important of all male qualities.

+Enlarge your device and women will jump in your bed.

+The longer your love instrument is, the longer the pleasure lasts.

+Go from flaccid to FAT!

+Put her to bed with your dong.

+Stand tall and salute with your confidence.

9 comments:

Thami said...

This reminds me of the now somewhat defunct website, www.spamusement.com . If you've never seen it, I highly recommend you check it out! There is some super duper hilarious stuff on there. This is my personal fave: http://spamusement.com/index.php/comics/view/105

Chris said...

Today I received: "Shut her tiny hole."

Casey Brewer said...

Hahahahhahhahhahhaha!

Michelle said...

Today I got:
Empower your man-root.
A meat cigar instead of a cigarette.

And quite possibly the grossest thing I've ever read:
Load more into her slit.

Casey Brewer said...

Hahahahaha!!!!!

Those are classics!

Casey Brewer said...

Today I got:

Women don't care about money, as long as your trunk is hard.

Chris said...

Add some power to your man hammer

minx said...

Today I received "Awaken your wang!" Complete with exclamation point.

minx said...

"Give her gut locker more!" HOLY SHIT I CANNOT MAKE THIS STUFF UP.