We're often put in a difficult position in this business. Stuck between that proverbial rock (life) and hard place (work). After milking every dribble left from the creative teat, we're off scrambling, like raving dogs back to our hovel to lick our wounds. Some make their own art. Some find sanctuary in a bar, face first in a mug. Some find respite with a loved one. Some head home to punch the clock on the couch, cooling an overheated brain stem.
No matter what you call your safe place, we all have one.
Me? I like to catalog my muses during down time. Like a librarian, I Dewey Decimal the hell out of shit. You never know when a particular quip or comment will rear its ruddy, pocked head as a bona fide idea generator. Here's a handful that I've collected over the past few weeks.
+I described a woman's ass as so vast that it was like a Mayan cave. Brave souls that ventured into the underworld were known simply as pioneers. The creatures seen there were devoid of pigmentation from the lack of sunlight. A truly alien world to the repelling spelunker. I wasn't mocking the ass mind you. I was in awe of it.
If I could write an ad about the ass, it would surely win an award.
+I reprimanded a co-worker for telling a girl she had a lazy eye. Hello? Turn on your internal editor, bro. That's why girls go crazy. She wasn't the type that would get all bulimic after the comment or anything, but still.
+I went on a tirade about Jack White, calling him the most unoriginal guitar player in the history of recorded music. I also said that Jack White is to the guitar, what the Stone Temple Pilots were to the 90's. This hurt a buddy's feelings something awful, and he left me drinking alone. Not sure yet if he'll fully recover.
+I've been living every breathing moment listening to Steely Dan. It helps quell the rage.
+I ran 5 miles for the first time since I was 18 years old. I was having hallucinations of every hot dog and pizza roll i've eaten for the whole of the final mile. It was like a vision quest of poor life choices.
*Video find courtesy of Donnie. I wish he would get off his rhinestone cowboy ass and start posting shit here again.
3 comments:
And he spent the rest of the day calling me "The Eye." It's not a lazy eye! While girls are of a more complex breed of sorts for the most part, rule of thumb is to not to compare us to fabled hunchbacks or those who have an extra chromosome. That can almost guarantee a date with your hand, some lotion and a box of shame.
Recognize.
VA State Fair tonight. Maybe I'll get some material out of it.
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