True Romance. Gary Oldman not included.

Women need to be wooed. It’s one of those necessary steps in acquiring the affection of the right kind of lady. We like to know you’re making some sort of effort when it comes to improving your muff diving score. With the common complacence of man I had all but lost hope that such noble behavior was still in existence. A couple of days ago, though, someone renewed my faith that chivalry was still alive in our tainted world. I had finished my belated Christmas shopping and was weighed down with all my gifts, so I was not in the mood to walk back up to Capitol Hill from downtown. Being as busy as it was in the city, it was exceptionally difficult to get a cab. At a stoplight, though, I luckily made eye contact with one and waved him over. Success. I threw my bags in quickly and hopped in before the light turned green. While I rearranged my bags to sit more comfortably, the driver turned around to face me.
“See you made eye contact, that’s good. That’s how you get a man’s attention.” I simply nodded and smiled politely. “Yeah,” he continued, “women need to be aggressive, show us they want us to notice them and we will.” I continued to nod my head mechanically. “Do you like music, miss?”
“Yes,” I replied.
“I’ve got just the thing for you,” he said, winking. He turned back to the front and turned on his CD player. Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On” blared through his speakers. He turned to face me again, singing along with Marvin and closing his eyes for dramatic affect. I asked if he wouldn’t mind facing the front, because I would hate for us to crash due to his sweet, sweet serenading. He obliged and continued to display his musical prowess. The song continued on repeat for the rest of the drive, except for a brief moment when he toyed with Boyz II Men’s, “I’ll Make Love To You.” A true romantic.
“Bitches are too afraid now a days to show men that they want them. Some women use those drugs to make themselves all manly, you know? I say, let a woman be a woman. Soft and timid. I want to work for my lady, you feel me?” I continued to nod and smile politely, mostly because I wasn’t sure if he really thought we were having meaningful conversation or if it was a new rape tactic.
“So, you want a woman who will be strong and tell you what she wants right away but also timid and feminine so you can feel manly?”
“Exactly, sister.”
“Sure, yeah. That makes sense.” No. No it doesn’t.
At last we arrived at my apartment and I had to leave the comfort of, “Songs You Can Fuck To.” Chatty cab driver and I had made a connection that day. I left him without a word, afraid of ruining our perfect moment. I doubt anyone will ever make me feel more uncomfortable, yet intrigued all at the same time ever again. Except perhaps my dad.