Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New Year!

2009 was a crazy year. I started my own agency called Fat & Depressed Worldwide, I saw a prostitute with a tattoo that read "Cash Only," I witnessed Steely Dan perform live, I visited a town where every woman wore bedazzled denim, I moved to Seattle, I made fun of vampire and zombie nerds, I ate hot dogs...

There are so many memories. Here's some things that I liked and disliked about 2009:


A Face Melting Blog of Staggering Riffage - The brainchild of The Mayor Mike Haeg, this blog reintroduced us to the blistering fret work of some long forgotten axe wielders of eras past. Give it a listen, you might just unretire yourself from that dusty bong you have hidden in the garage. The Mayor himself made a 2009 mix that you can download. There's some hot shit on there for sure. I'm a frequent contributer, and according to my Art Director partner, that makes me a hippy.


The loud and misinformed. 2009 more than any year in recent memory seemed to embrace the loud and dumb mentality. I was reading a positive restaurant review last evening and stumbled across this gem in the comments:

What a shock having a resaturant critic push a place that the average person will never be at. Kind of like the movie critics. Whatever they like alot and a can't miss movie, I avoid like the plague!

My translation:

"I'll avoid good food and entertainment because some elitist, educated person thinks I might like it."

This guy's brain must addled from all the Coors Light he's been pouring into his bloodstream for the last eternity. Sorry bro, the aforementioned restaurant review wasn't for a fucking Chili's. They don't have deep fried macaroni nibblers on the menu, and you don't get to ogle a pair of 17 year old, fake tanned titties while you order. Now go suck down a squeeze bottle of Ranch dressing and quietly fade into cardiac arrest. Thanks.


Making cool shit. The spiraling whore of an economy inspired many of us to get off of our proverbial asses and start doing things that made us interesting human beings in the first place. Like building bird houses, making posters, picking up the guitar, documenting bedazzled derrieres...etc. Kudos to those that never stopped, like Brock Davis and his Make Something Cool Everyday quest on Flickr.


Sidewalk Mouth Breathers. No, this isn't some missive about the abuse of personal transportation, this is about people that stand in the middle of the sidewalk with their mouth agape. There is nothing that pisses me off more than folks that interrupt my purposeful direction-attuned walking, because they are lost, confused, talking on their cell, or just plain lazy. Get the fuck out of the way before I drop kick that 1400 calorie Mocha Ankle Fat with sprinkles out of the drooling hole in your face. There are usually 4 ways to walk. Choose one.


My uncle Todd's kick-ass cabin that he built on the South Shore of Lake Superior.


The colon cleanse dude and his gross-ass moustache. Apparently, I'm carrying around 15-20 lbs of undigested toxic waste in my body.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.