Jingle Bells!

"Happy fucking holidays fatties. Sorry you can't fit through the front door, but that's your problem. It's fucking Christmas and my kid needs a new X-Box. I haven't sold a single Chrysler Lebaron all year, but I managed to save enough dough so that my overweight agoraphobe son won't be made fun of at school. Word on the street is he's an amazing Guitar Hero player. You touch me with those steamed hams in a Starter Jacket and I file a fucking law suit."