The People of Santa Monica.

I'm working in Santa Monica for the rest of the month. While here I've taken up the task of categorizing the people that live, work and play in this area of Los Angeles. Here's what I've come up with thus far:

Liza Manelli's - Men that have had an incredible amount of plastic surgery done to their faces. They all look like they're part of the same tribe of cat people. Other inoperable characteristics include: flaccid penis, thinning colored hair, and shallow character. Careers? Former game show host, philanderer, hairdresser to the stars, Hotel/Casino owner, and ballroom dancer.

Yoga Pants - Without direction or purpose in life, the droves of these attractive women in yoga leggings descend upon the LA streets every morning with their skim latte and mats tightly affixed to their backs. Their job is Downward Dog, their passion is perspiration. They live lives devoid of any semblance of conviction.

Waitstaff - They had big dreams and small brains. They rolled the dice on a future of international celebrity. Now they work at California Pizza Kitchen. A couple gigs as an extra should almost afford them enough blow for the after-bar this Saturday.

Freelance Personal Trainers - They open up shop along every beach front walkway with exercise balls and kettle bells in tow. They promise ripped abs and tighter butts. They will masturbate to a mental image of you in spandex later in the afternoon.