My pops had always practiced Wing Chun, so he was supportive of me taking Karate classes. He probably thought it was a good cultural experience. Little did he know that it was pure, unbridled blood lust that inspired me. I mean, I was a little shit with a big mouth and skater bangs. I needed to have that sweep the leg move in my repertoire or I was sure to come home with a new shiner at least twice a week.
Somehow in between Karate class and sneaking in some betamax ninja movie rentals at sleepovers, I became a huge Chuck Norris nerd. I secretly joined his fan club through an ad I found in the back of a martial arts enthusiast magazine.
In about 6 weeks I received two autographed pictures of Chuck. They were my prized possessions. I just found the exact pictures on the interwebz. Fuck. Yes.
Your standard high kick pose. I mimicked this shit in my skid-marked underoos ad nauseam.
Now this, this one is special. This is the essence of vigilante justice right here. Shirt off, sawed off shotgun, unkempt beard, and a .44 caliber street sweeper in the holster.
It's too bad that Chuck turned into a raging xenophobic, bigoted, gay-bashing Republican wing-nut. He had a clear path to the Charles Bronson throne for revenge plot, vigilantism. Now he guests on Sean Hannity's Fox program for christ sakes. Fuck Chuck.
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