Beep Borp. I'll guarantee that the dude with the laptop open is creating an avatar for Half-Life, and his buddy is trying to get upskirt on a tiny TMZ thumbnail. Either that, or they're Mormons.
Used car salesman. I saw this guy drink about 12 shots of bourbon while he sat across from me. I'm dead serious. He hadn't sold a car in two years. He was intermittently seizing while making goofy-ass faces. Or maybe he was just seizing. Anyway, nice guy for being completely incoherent.
You can't go wrong with this get up. High socks, black nurse shoes, hiked up shorts, cassette playing walkman, carabiner key chain, and cold-as-ice blue blockers. He's like a professional morning stroller. I'm willing to bet this guy goes all Rain Man on the bit when the baristas ask him how many pumps of sweetener he wants.
This kind of shit is pretty typical in the Pacific Northwest. I can't recall exactly what this dude was about other than he was trying to impress the ladies by dry humping the side of a building from about 15 feet off the ground. They were very impressed. Still, I doubt he scored that night. Something tells me that this slack-jawed lumberjack drove his pick-up truck home wasted, sipping Ron-yay the entire way. That's as good as it gets for a clear cuttin' tree ninja.
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