Like most people, I have been stockpiling canned goods, duct tape and plastic sheeting like Tom Ridge told me to after Sept. 11th. (Remember wrap yourself in TWO layers of plastic sheeting and THREE layers of duct tape to prevent nuclear bombs from entering your body.)
My Apocalypse Preparation Kit was rather expensive, but I think it's worth it. My APK includes some butterscotch hard candy, a feather and some magic. The butterscotch discs will be useful to lure the elderly out of their shelters, so I can steal their supplies and their comfortable couches. The feather will help tickle the terrorists and well, the magic is magic.
But the one thing I wish I knew about when making my APK was Yoders Canned Bacon! It's imported from Hungary! Lovely canned, pre-cooked, already shrunk, perhaps crispy bacon in a can. U.S. bacon shipped to Hungary, put in a can and shipped back to 'merica, just so we can have it during the Apocalypse.
Ain't that America.
Pictures via Found Shit.
5 comments:
This is dangerous. Knowing my palate, this is all I would eat if an apocalypse were to take place. What happens when they run out of canned bacon? What happens???!!!!!!!!!!
**Waiting for the Mayor's customary cannibalism post in 3-2-1...
Let me know when they make a can big enough to hold 12 skinned hookers.
Let me know when you find one, because I've got the hookers stacked like 2X4's in my garage.
Why wait for the apocalypse? I'm gonna work this stuff into regular rotation.
Some things taste better under impending doom...
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