Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The Beast Mother Dating Chronicles: #2

Here's #2 from Samira:

I am officially a jerk.

I was supposed to go on a coffee date today with one of the guys I met with the Online Dating site. Want to know why I didn't go? Because he called at 9:45 AM. On a Sunday. That is way to early, because we have only spoke on the phone once before, in a nervous chatter where he didn't ask about one thing regarding me except how my last relationship ended. He forced me to say it, too.

Him: "So, he's moving huh? That must be a good story."

Me: "Umm, yeah, I guess. Not much really, 3000 miles is kind of a commute."

Him: "What happened?"

Me: "He got a job. Far away."

Him: "Come on, there's got to be more to it than that?"

Me: "Nope–not really."

Him: "Tell me. Tell me. Tell me."

At this point I start making things up, just to shut this guy up. Yeah, I could have gone with him, but you know, but (insert inappropriate number here) months together is not long enough to decide something like that. Oh, you know, things started getting hard, and we are still friends; we hang out still, we just changed the status of the relationship. He's really a great guy, and I like being friends with him. Blah, blah, blah.

Going with him was never an option. We are trying the Friends thing, but you already know how well that is going. He is great, though, even for a 40 year old, narcissistic commitment-phobe.

I hear a very loud noise on the other side of the phone. "What is that?"

"Oh-I am on my scooter."

What!? Get off the phone and drive! On the phone on a scooter? Who IS this guy? He then proceeds to enter a sandwich shop, order a sandwich, pay, get back on the scooter, and drive home. ALL WHILE ON THE PHONE WITH ME. If I were working that counter, I wouldn't make the damn sandwich until he hung up the damn phone. Just because it is mobile, doesn't mean you get to talk on it in any situation.

I begin to insist that he call me back when he is not so busy. "No, no," he assures me, but the deal has already been broken. He will not get any face time with me, but I will let him think that he should call me on Sunday. Maybe I should have been more specific–Sunday AFTER NOON. I don't answer the phone before Noon on the weekends, unless we have been dating for a long time or unless it's my mother and it's the second time she calls in a row. (That's how I know something is up. I usually don't answer her calls, because she just wants to guilt me into something, unless it's two in a row. That's our code.)

I didn't answer his text four hours later, either.

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