Monday, February 23, 2009

Zed Leppelin = FAIL!

Old Sweet River and I ducked out of a wedding on Saturday night to check out Zed Leppelin, the nation's premier Led Zeppelin experience. I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but Sweets and I have been talking about going to one of their shows for probably the past 6 years.

According to their website, each member of Zed was hand selected after a nationwide search. Not only did the musicians have to sound like the venerable originals, but they had to look like them too. Think of it as American Idol for stoners. Everything, from Jimmy Page's violin bow solo, to Robert Plant's faggy hand gestures, to Bonzo's swollen beer gut had to be spot on. No trivial detail would be left by the wayside. No bejeweled headband would be bereft of a single sequin.

Hot off their last blistering, mind-bending performance at Dibbo's in downtown Hudson, Zed galloped the last leg of highway 94 to take the stage at the Uptown Famous Dave's like it was the Hyatt Regency circa 1971.

Well, one of the members wasn't exactly galloping, in fact Andy (fake Robert Plant) could barely stand on his own two feet, and he spent the entire two and half hour performance slumped over a stool looking like he had just beer bonged a 40 oz. of rotten clam juice. He held his head and rarely if ever looked at the audience. If one member of the band was Dazed and Confused, it was most certainly Andy.

Luckily for the audience of pasty "how much ass can I fit in these jeans?" white women from Fridley, Andy could still hold a note. I witnessed at least four ladies no younger than 45 writhe in their stretch denim like the hammer of the gods itself paid them a visit for a little pounding. Fake Jimmy Page even picked one of them as his muse for the second set, as he mercilessly butchered every solo Zoso had ever played.

Rocking out to Zep with the smell of BBQ wafting through the air usually gives me a tingle in my man region. Unfortunately, I didn't pack any earplugs or wet wipes for this particular performance. As I sloshed through the maze of Arctic Cat jackets and Jag Bomb explosions, I found nary a reason to hang out for much longer.

After an excruciating Fake John Bonham drum solo that is still making me wince, one of the members made sure everyone was aware that Fake Robert Plant was suffering from a serious "head injury". I guess we were all lucky to see him perform, even in the state he was in. What a soldier of fortune Fake Robert Plant was. He carried the cross for us; the super Zep fans naive enough to think this show might actually be good. Bless his heart. What a trooper.

I dug this quote up off of their website, and found it apt to post here. I'll let you make up your own mind about Zed Leppelin:

You will be exposed to all the sights, sounds, and pageantry of a Led Zeppelin show from yesteryear. Acrylic amber drums, double-neck guitars, thick fluid bass lines, and powerful wailing vocals are just the tip of the iceberg. Zed-Leppelin takes everyone’s favorite Led Zeppelin classic song and reproduces it to perfection.

So get ready to go on a trip back in time and experience the mystery, power, swagger, & the legend of Led Zeppelin. Whether you have seen the mighty Zeppelin and want to re-live your past, or were never fortunate enough to participate is your chance. Don't miss it!


Zetzman said...

Dude, I was thisclose to seeing them. I was at the door of Famous Dave's. After reading your review, I'm damn glad I went and got beer somewhere else.

frank adam said...

This is the best show review I have ever read. I'm glad I took 3 minutes out of my sex filled life to read it. Hilarious. Hats off!

Casey Brewer said...

Thanks Frank. The show made for some easy material.

Zetz, the laughs alone were worth the 5 bucks. I think they're playing at the Cabooze this weekend.

R. Falch said...

I miss the "how much ass can i fit into these jeans" white women back home.

also, did fake john bonham bong whiskey and pass out somewhere?

Casey Brewer said...

Fake Bonzo, actually looked exactly like real Bonzo. We got really annoyed with the incessant drumstick flipping though. Real Bonzo never did that kind of petty shit.

Zetzman said...

I might have to go check them out.

I hear there's a Stones tribute band coming to Dave's soon. Know anything about them?

Adam Cathcart said...

Magnifique! This was a stellar review ....I hope you will consider crashing on my couch for a month in Seattle as a means of deploying your astute surveillance on a plethora of shows both formidable and atrocious in this sorta-Minneapolis town.

frank adam said...

Hey Casey, you need to bring Superbeast to Chicago. There is mad beast potential here. We invented the beer-gut deer. He speaks polish and shits Lincoln logs. I'll point you in the right direction when you arrive.

Casey Brewer said...

Sure thing Frank. I'm a Hot Doug's superfan, so I try to get out that way when I can.