Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Fat & Depressed Worldwide® Summons Pure Evil to Stomp Economy Square in the Nuts.

For immediate press release:

The higher ups at Fat & Depressed Worldwide® have made an executive decision to summon Gorath, the Master of the Cataclysm to be their Accountability Czar. First order of business? Kicking the suits square in the giblets.

"In these crazy times, it's going to take drastic measures to assure stability in the market place. A surefire way to accomplish that is by sucking the lifeblood out of the bean counters, big whigs and corporate tycoons. Assaulting their privates is just the first order of business in our public relations blitzkrieg," says Gorath.

No stranger to apocalyptic violence and macabre, Gorath has been biding his time, waiting for his next opportunity to inflict archaic torture and bloodshed. He's thankful for the opportunity.

"Shit, I've been hanging out in Puerto Vallerta mainlining tequila and rim salt since the shit hit the fan. You wouldn't believe how important sunscreen is when you're blown out of your mind on a agave and speedballs. It's one of those places that's nice to visit, but really expensive unless you're partying on David Lee Roth's dime. And that bankroll has long since dried up."

Excited to get his claws bloody, Gorath is going straight to work appearing on late night celebrity orientated programming pronouncing the end of times, and mesmerizing viewers with mind control.

"The transition has been pretty smooth."

Fat & Depressed Worlwide® is a subsidiary of Bonercom Global Media, a Superbeast Creative company.


Erik said...

Shit man the world is coming apart!

R. Falch said...

I thought Bonercom got absorbed by GlobalVag?

Casey Brewer said...