Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Too poor to own a 300 square foot studio apartment shit-hole in one of the nation's most expensive cities? Well, fuck you! The future of San Francisco living conditions is nearing a brazen reality. 160 square foot hobbit habitats are the answer for the start-up developer that only needs enough space to masturbate and stack empty Chinese take-out boxes. Why? because 160 square feet is AMPLE room to masturbate and eat shitty Chinese.
Can you imagine how this joint smells after the average start-up developer makes some hamburger helper, digests said hamburger helper and shits out said hamburger helper? Like a fucking Bosnian prison camp. We're talking post-mortem smell. Like walking into a decomposing anal cavity for a living room and hanging up your jacket on a hemorrhoid.
As if we want landlords and development planners to maximize more of the tiny footprint of San Francisco. This isn't going to make housing more affordable. If anything, it will make it more expensive.
As I cinch on my loin cloth and point my trusty steed toward wilds unknown, I'll look back at a city suffocating under it's own weight. Shedding one lonely tear.
Posted by Casey Brewer at 2:26 PM