I Can Feel It.

This was one of my first introductions to Michael Jackson and his hilarious brothers.

My sister had Off the Wall, and I used to dance to it in my underwear. Pre boners.

I had a poster of MJ wearing a brown leather bomber jacket over my bunk bed.

I first perfected the moonwalk at the age of 8. I was ridiculously behind the times. There were at least 4 second graders who were vastly superior dancers. I wanted to peel off their faces with a molten hot butter knife. Bastards.

Tito was a good name. Jermaine? Not so much. I named a pet turtle Tito once.

Wearing penny loafers won't help your moonwalking skills, but it will make you look like a private school douche.

My life trajectory in music ages 6-16 will read like this: Michael Jackson - Prince - Fat Boys - Misfits - Led Zeppelin - Ice-T - Black Sabbath - Public Enemy....

That's some pretty serious company.

Was MJ ever on Different Strokes? I know he was buddies with Webster and shit, but did he ever party with that surly jerk Gary Coleman? Who's fucking who in that scenario? My money is on Gary.



R.I.P. Mike.